Sometimes I just don’t understand people. I have a roommate that, for reasons unknown, really like the CW show The Vampire Diaries. Being in the same apartment and not wanting to stay in my room, I have had the misfortune of watching several episodes of this another-teen-vampire-soap-opera show. (Oh, the wonderful effects Twilight has had on our pop culture landscape. That was sarcasm if you couldn’t tell. At least these vampires don’t sparkle.) What’s even more confusing, is that I’m a guy. And my roommate is a guy. The only redeeming quality I can see about him liking The Vampire Diaries is that he can talk with girls about the show. (It may actually be a brilliant strategy, but I need more evidence before deciding on that.)

From the several episodes I’ve seen, there are several common occurrences. This has led me to come up with a game based on the traditional sarcastic drinking games out there. Personally, I have a not-so-great tolerance to caffeine, especially in large quantities, so doing this game with Red Bull or Monster would be an appropriate punishment for me for watching this show even once. But it could be done with a number of things. I’ll refer to quantities as “hits,” so you can substitute in shots of energy drinks, or bites of chilis, or drops of Rooster Sauce, or anything else. Or, if for some unknown reason, you’re a fan of the show, you could do enjoyable things like shots of Mountain Dew (yum)! So here’s a list of some common occurrences and what number of hits they should afford. This list is a work in progress, so suggestions are welcome!

The Vampire Diaries Game

A list of common happenings and the number of hits they afford:

  • A make out session – 1 hit
  • What looks like a sure make out session is prevented – 1 hit
  • Compulsion is used on someone – 1 hit
  • A minor or bit-part person dies – 1 hit for every two occurrences (or 1/2 hit every single time)
  • A major character dies – 1 hit
  • The sexual tension in a scene is so high you can’t stand it – 2 hits
  • A character that you thought was dead comes back – 3 hits
  • A non-supernatural character becomes a supernatural character – 4 hits
  • BONUS: Blatant product placement – If you hate it as much as me, 5 hits; if you aren’t too bothered by it, 1 hit; adjust the number of hits based on person preference and how blatant the product placement is. (1 = food item out of focus in the background, 5 = Transformers level placement)

This should be more than enough to get you totally messed up on the average episode. Even if you just take shots of water, you’ll be needing a bathroom break by the end of an episode! This game is only recommended for watching one episode at a time. If you do a marathon, you’ll probably end up taking a trip to the hospital. Even if it’s just water.

Note: I don’t encourage drinking alcohol in any way, so don’t actually do this game with alcohol. Especially since it seems like the target audience for this show isn’t old enough to drink legally. Don’t do it with anything else either. You would seriously be in trouble taking anything with this game. Seriously, these are all very common occurrences. This is just for entertainment purposes and to make fun of that show. Have fun! 🙂